Journal entry 10.23.16 – Filling your “cup”

Something I’ve talked a whole lot about with those close to me lately, is, what fills your emotional/physical/spiritual “cup”? Simply, what makes you happy? Is there anything that would make your day if you took the time to do it that you’re currently holding yourself from?

While you think about that, I’ll open up a little about what’s holding me from being my best self. I consider myself a very ambitious person – by that, I mean I hold myself to a very high standard and can imagine myself doing amazing things with amazing people, and actively make goals for myself til I get there. But am I doing enough in the moment for me to bring the absolute best Cody to the surface? Am I prioritizing my happiness? Am I placing the most encouraging and loving people around me?

The answer is no. I am so focused on all the things I want to shift around to better myself that the “happiness” I’m seeking is somehow lost in the stress of always attempting to be perfect – or at least be perceived that way. And the truth; the reality? Nobody can be perfect, and nobody has it all figured out. There are always going to be obstacles to overcome and unexpected restrictions on your own personal form of happiness.

So now, let’s talk about what you may be holding yourself back from – or more so what you can do on a daily, weekly, annual basis to make you happy. For some, this may be simply taking extra time in the morning to enjoy your coffee, or setting aside some time before bed to mediate or read or take a bubble bath. For me, it’s staying active and productive. More specifically, not doubting myself or questioning if there are “better” things to do.

The most gratifying day to me would go as follows: waking up fairly early (let’s say maybe 5 or 6) chilling out for a bit with a record playing and seeing the sun rise – going to a workout class, run, or bike ride – getting coffee and a clean breakfast with a friend or family member – shooting a blog post or anything involving my camera – editing/writing/posting said blog post – getting a fresh haircut and not having anxiety about what it’ll look like – getting in some cuddle time with my kitties – grabbing dinner or preparing it – watching the sun set – maybe catching up with some shows or reading a little before I end up sleeping knowing I had a productive day and I deserve the rest. This is going to be different for every single person. For myself, I know I am my absolute BEST self when I stay busy all day and sleep feeling at peace with how I spent my time.

I have a challenge for you guys, and it’s for you to really, really, realllllyyyyy get in tune with your most genuine, happy self and find out what they need to find and hold onto happiness. Because it is so easy to lose track of finding time for yourself amidst work, school, or anything else you have going on. You can only give your best self to those you love if you’ve given it to yourself first. And that will be different for each amazing person reading this, which is why I felt compelled and motivated to write it. Make one gigantic goal for yourself, then figure out all the small goals it’ll take to get there. Make lists of all the traits you possess that you want to continue to have, or ones you’d like to leave behind. Praise yourself for all the good you’re doing and hold yourself accountable for all that you’re not.

I feel so passionately about everyone finding themselves, being that person, and never ever losing sight of it. You’re all absolutely beautiful in your own ways and I want more than anything for you to accept yourselves fully and thrive.

Thanks for bearing with me on my own personal exploration. I hope to have left you with some things to think about or consider. Expect more journal-type posts like this in the future.

All the fucking love, Cody J. ❤

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