Coming Out

Hi, loves! How is everyone? I hope having a good week — and if you’re not, I hope you’re able to navigate whatever it is you’re going through and better your situation. *Blows kiss*.

Today is a very special day, aka #NationalComingOutDay! I hope all my LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters out there are celebrating yourselves, just as you should every other day of the year. You are beautiful and unique and loved. Your bravery is unwavering and I am in awe and support of the things we have accomplished as a community — past and present. And look forward to future obstacles we will overcome with love and intention.

This isn’t going to be a long, sappy post about my coming out story — maybe we’ll talk about that another day. But more of a love letter. To all those in the community who fight so hard to de-stigmatize, promote inclusivity, and are brave enough to be authentically themselves: I appreciate you.

Anyone who knows me knows that I value absolutely no quality in a person more than vulnerability. I believe this is the tool in which all human connection is based on. When you can be honest with yourself and others, this is where real relationships are established. Or, even a realationship. (Bad joke, sorry. Lol.) Truly, though. It is often only when you’re able to share deeper parts of yourself or shed your ego that you’re able to strike similarity with someone you wouldn’t have guessed. Or finding compassion for someone you might not be fond of. And this is a trait the LGBTQ+ community demonstrates well and makes me very proud. Living loud, authentically, colorfully. With no apologies for who we are, who we love, and want we want. You are my heroes.

Basically.. I love you. I am a very proud bisexual man. (I honestly don’t always feel 100% about labeling myself. But for the sake of best articulating my current status, I believe bisexual best describes my sexuality in a way that others can understand.) And it is because of my brave brothers and sisters in this community that I was able to find the courage to offer my true self to those in my life and everyone I encounter during my days on this Earth. I don’t regret it for a second. Even when its hard, even if it would be “easier” to be straight, even gay. I cannot imagine myself any other way and truly love my personal identification and believe I am better, and more whole because of it. My capacity to love is too great for one gender and I really am so proud of that. I will continue to search for love and connection through soul, energy, and vulnerability.

If you are questioning or not ready to share your truth yet — take your time. Some know when they’re in elementary school, some figure things out later. I personally did not come out publicly until I was 21, and even then, it was because I was in a relationship I believed to be real. The feelings I felt for this person propelled me to tell friends and family, and later to share online. Had I not met this person at this time, who knows when I’d have come out. I was scared as hell. My whole life I’d been questioned, bullied, disliked, judged. When I shed my shame, I was faced with an overwhelming sense of pride, happiness. I felt light. Like the biggest weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. I lost family (some that I truly haven’t spoken to since) and plenty of friends. But at the end of the day, do I want anyone who doesn’t love the real me in my life? Absolutely fucking not.

I love you. I support you. Take your time. Live your truth. Open up to people. Love fully, without bounds. Nurture your relationships. Don’t take anyone for granted. Acknowledge the good in the people who deserve it. And most of all, fuck anyone who is homophobic/transphobic/biphobic/the list goes on. Don’t let anyone tear you down. You got this.

Find people who love you and confide in them when it’s safe to do so. If you ever feel like you don’t have anyone, you have me. I am a fantastic listener and my DM’s are a total safe space. Please reach out if you need it.

I adore you forever. Happy National Coming Out Day.

Xoxo, Cody J.

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