Hi, loves! Coming at you today, with a very candid post with inspiration from John. I’m a real big fan of the content he puts out both on his blog and Instagram, so definitely go check him out.
I’ll be sharing 10 habits that I identify as things I want to quit doing, that aren’t serving me, which do not contribute to the ‘me’ I wish to be. Maybe we can relate on a few of these, or maybe you want to share yours in the comments. Let’s commit together!
1. Eating out instead of meal prepping — What I know to be true: eating out consistently is not cost effective, and often unhealthy. ‘Convenience’ cannot rule your life! Meal prepping promotes a healthier, more sustainable diet and overall is more cost effective than constantly dining out. Excuses I catch myself using: “I don’t have the time”, “I can’t eat the same thing over and over”. Cut the excuses and do what you know is right!
2. Spending too much time on my phone/laptop as opposed to more productive activities — I am so guilty of laying in bed for a while after I get up, checking my email, texts, and social media. Also guilty of catching myself falling asleep to YouTube videos or a new Netflix show almost every night. (Been testing out these past few nights, just completely unplugging before bed and have totally loved it by the way.) All the while, I grow anxiety about all the small things I don’t get done because I am “too tired”, or “will do it later”. Hey, future Cody: you won’t do it later. And when you actually get shit done, you feel so much better. What’re you doin? Get off that gorgeous butt of yours and do the work for you.
3. Not scheduling more (appointments/blog posts/etc.) — Simply, I don’t write things down. My ego has convinced me, “you’ll remember that!”, but my memory deceives me and I often find myself behind or forgetful due to this bad habit. It’s also set back some of my goals, then I get anxious, and my mind goes straight to being overwhelmed and I just get nothing done. And what’s the point of that? There is none! Write shit down, Cody. Ya big dumb idiot.
4. Budgeting and sticking to it, less on credit— Okay, this is a big one. And also something I’m admittedly pretty insecure about. I suck at budgeting. I am learning more to take advice from others but it’s hard. Money is hard. Can I just be rich? Thanks.
5. Comparing myself to others (body, life, lovers, ‘success’) — Some of my biggest work! Comparison will kill you (and me). With social media at the forefront of today’s culture, it’s hard to not compare yourself and your life to the ones that are portrayed online. What I know to be true: a LOT of it is fabricated, not real, or very dramatized. No one’s life is perfect. And what would the point be if it were? It’s the hardship and challenges that make life fulfilling and worth living. It’s those things that teach us lessons and make us better, more loving, more understanding humans. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.
6. Being impatient (with other people, myself, my growth) — My current mantra? “Be patient”. Why? Because I am so fucking mean to myself. Genuinely. I call myself bad names, I put myself down, I talk myself out of my own positive affirmations. I tear myself down in the mirror and convince myself that my worth is far below what I truly believe it to be. It’s not nice. This ties in well with habit #5, the comparison gets in my head and tells me lies about how many people are better, more successful, more beautiful, kind, intelligent. As for being patient with others, practicing gratitude helps flip a quick switch. When you acknowledge what you’re grateful for, it’s hard to lack patience and grace for those you surround yourself with. One thing I specifically am working on right now that’s found to be very challenging is patience and grace for those with opposing politically beliefs as mine. How can I support someone who genuinely believes I do not deserve the same rights as them? How can I support a racist/xenophobe/homophobe/transphobe? Ugh. And lastly, my growth. My personal growth has been an uphill journey, but I’m quick to forget the work I’ve put in to get here, to be this way, to even write this post. I am so proud of my personald growth and awareness, and I learn more about myself literally every. single. day. And I plan to continue this for the rest of my days. Self work does not have an end date, you can always grow.
7. Overusing “sorry” and excusing negative energy/actions/behavior from those I choose to surround myself with — You ever leave a conversation or argument, realizing you apologized for feeling a certain way? As if your feelings weren’t valid? Well, I have and it fucking sucks. Your feelings, emotions, reactions are valid! (Unless you’re being toxic, in which case they are still valid but should be expressed in a more healthy way). Secondly, you ever been wronged by a friend or someone you’re interested in? Then you make excuses for their actions because you want a reason to forgive them and let them back in? It’s gotta stop, y’all. What I’ll say is this: not everyone has the same heart as you. Not everyone has the same intentions. And you just need to understand this and tread waters lightly, knowing that you cannot control anyone but yourself. You can’t change a person, and they can only make changes if they truly want to. If you’re wronged, learn the lesson and move on. Don’t sit around waiting for change to be made if you’re not seeing any effort/plan/action.
8. Procrastination as a whole — I kind of feel like everyone can relate to this one? It’s simple. Putting things off til the last minute causes stress. Stress leads to anxiety. Anxiety leads to exaggerated reactions to something that otherwise could have been completed and moved on from. With self awareness, I should know to just fulfill these duties I put off and move on from them, but I struggle with the toxic thought of “I’ll get it done later”, which doesn’t always happen. It’s a cycle! End the damn cycle and get your work done. Your soul will thank you. Your sanity will, too.
9. Letting self doubt rule my life and my decisions — Yikes. I feel shame as I type this. Why would I let myself and my negative thoughts rule my life? Self sabotage is something I can identify in almost every aspect of my life. And while I am not aware of it in the moment, it definitely has affected my overall life in the negative. My current work with patience and comparison is helping me navigate my self doubt in a way that works for me, not against me. And I have been making more decisions lately because they feel good, and less because I am afraid of failure or the opinions of others. Also, really love this quote from Wes Moore – “I would rather flirt with failure, than never dance with my joy.”
10. Thinking “what if” in situations I have little to no control over — Does everyone do this? We want to control everything, but we can’t. We also can’t go back in time and change our thoughts/actions/intentions. We can only grow from them! Asking “what if” without the ability to actually impact the overall outcome is toxic, often leads to overthinking, and promotes anxiety. Trust the universe. Biiiiig “everything happens for a reason” guy. Trust. It.
Well, here they are. All out and in the open. I’m feeling a bit of release as I type this. Yay. These are all habits I’m committing to quitting, either completely or just implementing more awareness around them. I find it’s more successful to focus on one negative habit at a time, so that’s what I plan to do.
Did you relate with any of the habits I listed? If so, which? If not, what are yours? Share with me and let’s hold each other accountable!
Thanks so much for reading — you’ll hear from me again very soon.
Xoxo, Cody Johnathan. ❤